A Sexy Tale About Punctuation

OK, now that I have your attention let’s talk about punctuation. But first a joke. Yo Mama is so dumb … I just want to make sure you know that I'm not talking about your specific mama. I don't think she's dumb. I don’t even know your mama. But you’re reading my post so your moms must have done something right. Back to the joke that’s about a fictitious mother who is not that bright. Okay, yo mama is so dumb she thought the semicolon was winking at her. No, not funny? I’m sorry I’ll do better.

Punctuation isn’t really my thing. You may be thinking right now, yeah, I noticed sis. I like to write that’s what I do. Punctuation … not so much. I understand that punctuation and grammar are important components in the writing process. When I write I craft a chapter and then read it back and flood the bitch with commas. I’m like Oprah with my manuscript, you get a comma, you get a comma, every sentence gets a comma!!!!!!!!

During the writing process me and my bestie Google go back and forth about punctuation. Sis is so smart, she taught me about em dashes, when to use the three little dots (…), and the correct punctuation to use in dialogue. What I’ve learned has helped me to become a better writer. But I fully understand that a professional editor is necessary to catch all the stuff I’m bound to miss. We each have gifts and talents, I know what I’m good at and I’m not afraid to ask for, or should I say hire, help when I need it.

Look writing a book can get expensive. When I contacted the editor for my first book, Working Through It, (Did you catch how I threw the name of my book in there, releasing March 15th.) Anyway ... when I received the sample edit and quote it made everything real. I was writing a book and intended to publish that book. I was going to drop ducketts (Do the kids still say ducketts?) Does the question mark go inside the parentheses? BRB I’ma ask Google…

It does and then I’m supposed to add a period like so … I was going to drop ducketts (Do the kids still say ducketts?). This shit looks crazy, punctuation is insane. Anyway, money was being spent.

As I continue to write I hope to become more proficient in spotting punctuation issues. Which would mean less work for the editor and potentially fewer ducketts spent by me. No? Is that not how that works? Damn. As I prepare my second project for professional editing, I’ve found myself looking up capitalization rules. The book is set in the White House, so I’ve had tons of questions about the proper capitalization of titles and locations. I’m always excited for the journey and adding tools to my writing holster. That being said if you happen to find an errant semicolon in my work just mind your business.

Now time to read this post and load it up with commas. JK.

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