Are We Supposed to Know What We’re Doing?

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When I started writing my first book, Working Through It, I didn’t know what I was doing? Sure, I’d written short stories and made some half-hearted attempts at writing a book in the past, but I still had absolutely no idea what I was doing. Yes, I was an avid reader, but loving to read doesn’t mean you’ll be to put together a cohesive book or that that book will be good. The first few months It was just my laptop and vibes. And honestly, the words came easy. When the dust settled, I had a first draft which I thought was pretty decent. Spoiler Alert: It wasn’t.

But one thing about me I’m gonna Google some shit. I Googled novel writing articles, watched a ton of YouTube videos, and purchased some craft books. Going back to my first draft I started to edit. Changing scenes, adding new ones. Killing my darlings and all that jazz. And in the end, I thought I had a pretty good second draft. Spoiler Alert: It wasn’t.

So, I went back in, cutting filler words and adding more color and dimension to my chapters. When I thought my manuscript was in good shape, I sent it off to my editor with my hopes and dreams attached. After a few weeks, my editor responded with track changes and notes. So … many … notes. At some point, I was unable to read the notes because the tears had filled my eyes blurring my view.

Those editor notes were like being open hand slapped in the face. Like I was Charlie Murphy, and she was Rick James. Then came the body blows ... lacking character development, not cohesive. Then more tears. There was some positive feedback too, she liked my writing style, and she liked the title of the book. Listen, we have to take the wins where we can find them.

So, what did I do? I thought about giving up. I’m a fairly rational person and understand everything is not for everybody. I’d written an 80K word book not many people can say that. I didn’t need to publish it. The goal was to write a book. I’d done that. But I’m also a fighter when I really want something. And this was something I really wanted. So, I went back to the drawing board pouring over the editor notes, I decided to write a new book. Same characters, same setting but with a completely different storyline. After writing the first five chapters I sent it to my editor for review and she said, ‘Now we have a book.’ And that is how Working Through It was born.

Not knowing what you're doing is not a bad thing. Being willing to learn and open to honest criticism can go a long way. If I hadn’t written that first draft, I never would’ve ended up with the final manuscript and a real book I can hold in my hands. Even though 98% from the first draft got left on the cutting room floor it taught me so much about writing and about myself.

If you’re a writer or if you’re looking to start anything new. Don’t worry about what that first draft, first painting, or first pie looks like. We learn by doing. And when you actively pursue something new it won’t always be pretty, but it will always be worth it.